Edit Your Closet Like a Pro
Dear Audrey,
I wrote this to inspire your wardrobe renovation. It’s funny you should ask me because I had just had a conversation with another friend here in Austin about that very topic yesterday.
When I was 17 and taking my first gap year before Reed and way before Oberlin, I traveled to Costa Rica with my mom. Initially we had planned a two week mother daughter bonding vacation but after my mother got sick the day before our return flight and we missed our flight home, I ended up staying for a few months by myself.
As you can imagine I spent a lot of time living in hostels, in particular in San Jose. While there I met a local girl my age who lived close by and one day, it being monsoon season, we got caught in a downpour. She suggested we stop by her house for a change of cloths since it was nearby. When we got to her family’s home I was struck by how sparse it was. Not much furniture or stuff. She showed me to her room and her closet which was really just two shelves in a cupboard. She had 3 neatly folded shirts, and one pair of jeans. That’s it. She took one shirt and handed it to me telling me I should keep it. My disbelief must have been written all over my face and I’m not sure what I blurted out because she went on to assure me that yes, these were ALL her cloths. As in, every article of cloths she owned. I was embarrassed at my lack of tact which isn’t anything new, and humbled that she wanted to give me one of her 3 shirts. Lucky I had the wisdom to shut up, thank her, and graciously go on with our day. Before I left Costa Rica I gave her a pair of surfer shorts of mine she had admired. Moral of the story, many people live proudly and comfortably with less. OK, on to nuts an bolts and wisdom I’ve gleaned from others.
“Does it spark Joy?” from Marie Kondo and her book “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” http://tidyingup.com
I love this question because it invites us to check in with how we feel about owning a certain article of cloths (or anything else for that matter). Does it make you feel happy? Do you feel sexy and confidant while wearing it? I have a pair of black Lululemon pants that never fail to make me feel fitter, sexier and more energized when I have them on. It sounds totally irrational but feelings are and that’s what we want to focus on here. So, to start, take everything out of your closet. You actually want to create a sense of overwhelm. As in “Holy shit, I have so much cloths, argh!” or “This is too much to deal with right now”. Got it? Overwhelm good.
Ok good, next step. Lite some sage or incense, maybe a candle. Have a glass of wine if you’re drinking or a veg juice with kava kava if your not. Start with the basics, underwear, socks , etc.
Then move to tops, bottoms, dresses, outerwear, gym cloths, formal wear and then shoes, in that order. One by one, hold each article in your hands. Ask yourself, “Does this spark joy?”, however you choose to define joy. Does it give you a spark? Is it energizing? Does it make you feel uplifted or inspired when you’re wearing it? If not, it goes in the “to go” pile. At this point don’t worry about where it’s going eg. whether you’re going to sell it on Craigslist or donate it to “dress for Success”, etc. It just needs to go in the “leaving apartment” pile.
Conversely, if an article has a negative emotional charge to it, such as guilt, shame, remorse, it needs to leave. Here are 3 real life examples:
Guilt: Your mother in law gives you a hideous multi colored yarn explosion that’s supposed to be a scarf and you know you’ll never wear it but you feel guilty because it was a gift.
Shame: The piece in question somehow finds it’s way into your daily rotation because it’s comfortable but every time you wear it you’re embarrassed to answer the front door. I don’t care how comfortable those track pants are, if you’re embarrassed to run into a client at the grocery store while wearing them, it’s time to say good bye.
Remorse: This one’s the hardest because we humans are loss averse. By this I mean you feel remorseful because you spent a small fortune on a sequin top you thought looked great at the time and have worn it once in the 3 years you’ve owned it. You can’t seem to let go of it because at the time it was half your pay check. Guess what? You’re still paying for it, in closet rental fees in the form of space and remorse every time you look at it. Time to forgive yourself and let it go. You can decide later if you want to take that particular piece to the consignment shop or sell it on Ebay.
What do I wear 80% of the time? What do I wear 20% of the time? There’s a lot of power in identifying what you actually wear most of the time. I wear one pair of jeans most of the time and the only time I’m wearing my other pair is when my favorites are in the wash. So why do I own 4 pairs of jeans? Taking the time to identify what you wear most will allow you to craft a personal uniform. This in turn will free up your daily attention units to focus on more important things, like going to auditions, writing your next great stand up piece, or catching up with a particular friend in Austin. If you need proof lots of highly productive people have worn uniforms. Take Joseph Beuys for example. He always wore the same felt hat, long tan trench coat and dark pants. Janelle Monae, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, Matilda Kahl, Margaret Thatcher, ok I digress…
I have a uniform I wear to weddings. Black boots, black leggings and a black long sleeved dress I got for 20$ at H&M. My only regret is I didn’t buy 3 of the same dress. (I have a friend who’s also a wedding photographer and she did just that. Smart girl!) Now when I get ready for work it takes me a fraction of the time it used to. The only thing I need to ask myself is, did I wash it since last time! 😉
Mash it up. So now that you have culled your closet down to things that only make you feel sexy and beautiful or are essential to dressing or part of your uniform its time to mash things up. Lay out some outfits you regularly wear, then experiment with mixing items across outfits to look for possible recombinations. This can be a lot of fun. Don’t be afraid to experiment of put seemingly random things together, you never know what might work. When you have a closet that’s trim and tight recombinations are much easier and you can discover new combinations to articles, thus creating “new” outfits out of things you already own.
Lastly, consider hosting a clothing swap. This can be a fun and free way to refresh your wardrobe or re-home articles you don’t feel are goodwill worthy. I personally feel much better giving cloths to people I like and who light up like when they find one of my gems, then simply donating everything to charity. But then again, I love to make people happy. 😉
Hope this helps you and yes, I wish I could be sitting on your bed helping you sift thru everything!
Love,
Alina
